Christmas Breasts and Belly’s

My mom forwarded this in email from another one of her friends.

I freakishly can’t stop looking at it and giggling.  We are having ham on Christmas so I will have to wait until next year.  Sigh.  Her heading was:  Keeping Abreast of Holiday Recipes.  It is a lemon sliced and put under the skin before roasting.

Turkey Boobs

Keeping Abreast Of Holiday Recipes

Being the week before Christmas I am surprisingly calm and under control this year.  My shopping is nearly done and on budget.  I say nearly done because all I have left to get is stocking stuffers for the Joys – I already have some nail polishes for Joy1 to throw in there. I think I will get Joy2 some Stance socks and then some chocolate and ridiculous fillers.

Work has been great – lots of Christmas present cash, debit and Starbucks giftcards, a poinsettia, flowers, cards.  I love my clients:)  I’ve been working hard this month but it’s been a few crushing days, lots of light days and enough days off.

Everything in my own world is calm and it makes for a peaceful season.  Very unusual but I won’t question that.  I like the serenity.  I still have to deal with driving the Joys 2.5 hours on Christmas Day to my parents home.  None of us like the drive on the holiday and I do stress about potential drama between Joy1 and my mom or between myself and my mom.  I keep my brain slightly lubricated, smile and go to my happy place.

Mother’s Little Helper

Mother's little helper

Festive Bullet Points From This Week:

  • Our Home Depot Christmas tree looks like crap.  Every tree there was all tied up so we brought one home and when the branches settled down after a couple days the bottom third of the tree was bald twigs.  It was fun picking it out with the Joys and we are happy to have a tree but the quality this year was embarrassing and they should give me my money back.  But it would be too hard to return a Christmas tree.  Boo, Home Depot.

Twiggy the Christmas Tree

  • Joy1 and I went to see a live musical production of, “White Christmas”, at the North Park Theater.  It was great but sadly I have no pictures.
  • Joy2 went with me to a youth production of, “The Nutcracker”.  I have a byline for this performance which will only cement my seat on the bus to hell.  This is our selfie from the show:


  • After 7 Christmas’s without incident, our canine companion has suddenly decided to unwrap gifts from under the tree when we aren’t here so I’ve had to yell, “Baaaaad Dooooog”, three days in a row and re-wrap about 10 presents.  Some kind of doggy mid-life crises, no doubt.
  • I am digging on the Christmas ad from Kmart of the twerking prego’s wearing Joe Boxer Jammies.  Very festive.  I couldn’t figure out how to link it so if anyone wants to help on that, yes please..

I am supposed to bring desserts for our extended family gathering on Friday so I may have some cooking in the next few days.   Maybe cheesecake, maybe toffee, maybe chocolate mousse.  Maybe I buy a couple of pies at the store.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I will work for half of the day, finish the stocking stuffer shopping and then I am supposed to go to BF’s for our personal Christmas.  Christmas is officially here, let the eating and drinking begin!

Cheers, everyone!

PS: The Christmas House pictured is a friend’s daughter’s house in Colorado.  I want.

About theblogwoman

Bull-headed, focused, loyal. I pay attention. Don’t underestimate me: good and bad. Watch what happens when you start coming with me.
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2 Responses to Christmas Breasts and Belly’s

  1. nikkif181 says:

    I’m in love with the booby chicken. I cant stop chuckling at it. =)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. julespaige says:

    A pun in the oven…
    (sorry I can’t help myself).


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