Just A Quickie About Stupid Jackasses & Thieving Assholes

Stupid Jackasses And Thieving Assholes, The Lurking Lame Dangers At Work

Brought to you by bullet points:

  • Stupid Jackass guy in the office next to mine signs for a delivered package and puts it on my doorstep for a Thieving Asshole, defeating the purpose of me paying for the signature delivery.
  • Stupid Jackass linen service fails to pick up 3 bags left outside my office Tuesday.  Wednesday morning get call from Landlord that there is a homeless* Thieving Asshole sleeping on my soiled linens in the downstairs shower room.                                    Homeless Thieving Asshole gets points for at least creating ambiance with a candle but loses same points by doing something bloody to one of the linens, let alone lie on them.
  • Stupid Jackass client conveniently brings just short of what’s owed.  Thieving Asshole empties the completely full candy dish on the way out.

* More To Come On Homeless In San Diego

**What the heck do I do for a living that makes the stupid jackasses and thieving assholes worth this?

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Minding My Own Business

A few months back, I signed my 4th year-long lease at the apartment hell hole I call home.  It’s the longest I’ve lived somewhere since husband and I split in 2006.  He’s living in our house and I have been bouncing around rentals that are smaller and cost more.  I hate it so much.

We moved into this 2 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 story dump because it was the only option for what we needed:

  • Affordable on my single income
  • Takes children
  • Takes a medium-size dog
  • In our school district

This was it, the only place that hits those 4 requirements.  The complex is 550 units that sit a couple of blocks from each of the kids schools and also my work.  They don’t question kids and allow pets with additional $50/month pet rent.  I can barely afford it and there is a nuissance rent increase of $40 each year, not enough to move but enough to increase the owner’s bottom line.  Ffffff.

Anyways, here we are with our revolving door of neighbors – we are long time residents in comparison.  I know which washer doesn’t drain and which dryer doesn’t heat in the laundry room.  I know which maintenance man smokes cigarettes with the skinny tenant lady behind our row of buildings every morning for hours.  I know that each fall we get a notice for entry to replace the batteries in the smoke detectors and clean out the furnace.  And I know that this place is a step up from slum, a pig wearing lipstick, a perfect real estate investment business model.

We had moved here from a middle class single family home in a quiet neighborhood, the kind we had always lived.  I hadn’t known apartment living in over 20 years.  We learned quickly that it was not the same and that we would learn the rules, the tolerance, the indifference, and eventually the survival attitude to live in our little apartment hell.

I could use a lot of swear words to tell the many stories of the neighbors we have encountered here and I think about the fact I used to feel guilty about swearing for some reason.  Now, the bitterness makes screaming, “Fuckin, Shut the Fuck Up!” and pounding on the wall just a necessary release.

Cussing seems like my only justice against life for making us have to walk a wide circle around the vomit in the parking lot on Sunday morning or muttering blaspheme as I leave the rental office because their advice to me regarding the tenants they just moved in to my left is call the police.

We’ve gotten used to avoiding contact with our neighbors and stayed out of the line of fire, less the handful of times I lost my temper in the parking lot when another new tenant would block the driveway with a moving truck.

I have never said a word to the young military couple that moved into the apartment on my right with their infant about a year ago. Never said a word all those nights when I could hear the baby crying it out in her bedroom on the other side of the wall from where I tried to sleep.

They were clean and quiet with their little baby and I was happy to have them next to us instead of the 2 howling Huskies that lived there before. The months passed as they lived there, never making eye contact or speaking a word even though our mutual conversations could be heard through the fence on our back patios. I could see that their little girl was starting to walk and talk. Last summer, the neighbor mama would let the little one play in a kiddie pool every morning and I could hear the happy giggles bounce into our apartment.

By the end of summer, it was clear that neighbor mama was going to have another baby. The memories flooded my mind of my young pregnant years. I would see the young military couple walking in the evening, the mama getting bigger and proud papa pushing the stroller. I would think how lucky I am to have this family living next to me. Neighbor mama’s belly grew and by Thanksgiving I could tell she was nearly fully cooked.

A week or two later I noticed neighbor daddy playing with the little one on the patio. A while later it was the neighbor mama on the patio with the little girl and mama wasn’t pregnant anymore. They had some visitors but the apartment was mostly quiet.

Christmas has come and gone. My neighbor family went away for a week or more but now their lights are on again. It is quiet. I haven’t seen neighbor mama and I haven’t seen or heard a baby. I want so badly to hear that baby cry or see neighbor mama lugging a heavy baby car carrier just to know the baby is there. Of course, noone knows I’ve even thought about this – I shouldn’t be thinking about this because it’s none of my business.

In my little apartment hell hole I had found something that made me secretly smile. Now, I secretly feel sad that something went wrong and they didn’t bring their baby home. This might wind up being the worst neighbor story of them all.

I really should mind my own business.

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Christmas Is Over And Our Family Is Changed

Days Of Christmas 2014 Photo Bombing Are Done

(Photos removed by me to preserve privacy)

I peeled back my eyes slowly and I could see it was daylight.  The apartment is cold but very quiet, everyone is still sleeping off the last week.  Christmas is officially over.  New Year’s celebrations will be coming soon but in this moment of lying here with the memories of the last 5 days creating a mental stamp in my mind of this year’s Christmas, I am a bit sad that it is over.

I miss my cousins and family already and we haven’t even been home for 12 hours.  And much of this family live within 3 hours driving distance.  It’s the energy of this season, the spirit of laughter and sincere love that cannot be penetrated during this window of time.  It’s not every holiday or birthday that we are ALL together.

Some Of Our Gang At The First Gathering

The memories that will stick will be the one’s that define and separate this year from other Christmas’.  This is the first Christmas that my generation took a very strong lead in creating new traditions.  Not that much of what happened this year had not before but this year was the first year that we only have my parent’s left alive as our family elders.

New Tradition – Joy1 Enjoys Her Uncle’s Boat On The Bay

We had an additional day with our generation at the helm, without an elder present – it was magical to know that it will continue on with such enthusiasm and true love for each other.  I had a few years of question as to how this would play out as our elders were slipping into the sunset.  All of the elders had been so close for 50+ years.  The last decade was the cousins generation watching our parents generation get smaller; our family shift and settle.

The Next Generation At The 2nd Christmas Gathering

Interesting as I write this my mind has completely come to terms with what the big memory of this Christmas will be: A Changing Of The Guards.  Christmas is over.  This isn’t what I went into this Christmas week thinking but it fully became just that.

 

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Christmas Breasts and Belly’s

My mom forwarded this in email from another one of her friends.

I freakishly can’t stop looking at it and giggling.  We are having ham on Christmas so I will have to wait until next year.  Sigh.  Her heading was:  Keeping Abreast of Holiday Recipes.  It is a lemon sliced and put under the skin before roasting.

Turkey Boobs

Keeping Abreast Of Holiday Recipes

Being the week before Christmas I am surprisingly calm and under control this year.  My shopping is nearly done and on budget.  I say nearly done because all I have left to get is stocking stuffers for the Joys – I already have some nail polishes for Joy1 to throw in there. I think I will get Joy2 some Stance socks and then some chocolate and ridiculous fillers.

Work has been great – lots of Christmas present cash, debit and Starbucks giftcards, a poinsettia, flowers, cards.  I love my clients:)  I’ve been working hard this month but it’s been a few crushing days, lots of light days and enough days off.

Everything in my own world is calm and it makes for a peaceful season.  Very unusual but I won’t question that.  I like the serenity.  I still have to deal with driving the Joys 2.5 hours on Christmas Day to my parents home.  None of us like the drive on the holiday and I do stress about potential drama between Joy1 and my mom or between myself and my mom.  I keep my brain slightly lubricated, smile and go to my happy place.

Mother’s Little Helper

Mother's little helper

Festive Bullet Points From This Week:

  • Our Home Depot Christmas tree looks like crap.  Every tree there was all tied up so we brought one home and when the branches settled down after a couple days the bottom third of the tree was bald twigs.  It was fun picking it out with the Joys and we are happy to have a tree but the quality this year was embarrassing and they should give me my money back.  But it would be too hard to return a Christmas tree.  Boo, Home Depot.

Twiggy the Christmas Tree

  • Joy1 and I went to see a live musical production of, “White Christmas”, at the North Park Theater.  It was great but sadly I have no pictures.
  • Joy2 went with me to a youth production of, “The Nutcracker”.  I have a byline for this performance which will only cement my seat on the bus to hell.  This is our selfie from the show:

SelfieAtNutcracker

  • After 7 Christmas’s without incident, our canine companion has suddenly decided to unwrap gifts from under the tree when we aren’t here so I’ve had to yell, “Baaaaad Dooooog”, three days in a row and re-wrap about 10 presents.  Some kind of doggy mid-life crises, no doubt.
  • I am digging on the Christmas ad from Kmart of the twerking prego’s wearing Joe Boxer Jammies.  Very festive.  I couldn’t figure out how to link it so if anyone wants to help on that, yes please..

I am supposed to bring desserts for our extended family gathering on Friday so I may have some cooking in the next few days.   Maybe cheesecake, maybe toffee, maybe chocolate mousse.  Maybe I buy a couple of pies at the store.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I will work for half of the day, finish the stocking stuffer shopping and then I am supposed to go to BF’s for our personal Christmas.  Christmas is officially here, let the eating and drinking begin!

Cheers, everyone!

PS: The Christmas House pictured is a friend’s daughter’s house in Colorado.  I want.

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The Holy Grail Of Mommy Blogging

Mommy Blogging Has To Start Somewhere

BabiesMamaKids2007Beach

My mommy blogging didn’t start until years after these sweet Joys were well in the rear view mirror.

Joy1 still calls me Mommy or Mama.  With Joy2, it’s usually Mom or Mama.  The Joys are teenagers now and that they still acknowledge that I have a part in their existence is rewarding enough that I am glad their term of endearment towards me is maternal in nature.

Mommy Blogs

The last few months, I’ve been reading a LOT of blogs and many of the ones that interest me are considered “Mommy Blogs”.  Interestingly, the majority of the Mommy Blogs that I have found are Mommies with babies, toddlers, kids, pregnant again with their content revolving around this era of Mommy hood.

Reading these blogs is reminiscent of sweet times, an innocence in parenting.  A clean mess that Mommies could bond, chat & drink coffee over on the playground or at bouncy-house birthday parties.  There was sincere despair in the plight for scheduled naps and frustration over the idea that the terrible two’s might last into the three’s.  Ah – but jokingly optimistic because the little cherub was napping and Mommy was falling in love all over again.

KidsFrontDrutenDesert

My Mommy World Has Shifted Gears

I think I read the young-age mommy blogs like a deer in the headlights.  My jaw is on the floor, eyes glazed over and drool driplets running down my chin, mentally numb until I startle myself awake in a massive chortle-snort-laugh-cry hysterical moment that I don’t completely understand but has become a Mama moment of sorts.  The teen thing, it just happened – I sorta saw it coming but denial was very real.

Moms can joke about the little oopsies when the progeny are still minding them.  Teens are a whole different animal.  It’s like they are having an out of body experience that the parents have to continue to support, guide and persevere, remember to breathe through with the hopes that the original kid will be back on the other side of the teens.  But they won’t be so much kids anymore – if all goes well, they will “viola” out the other side of the teen tunnel as functioning adults.  Well, likely over 18 anyways.

What’s Up With The Blog Hole?

Back to the Mommy Bloggers.  I get it that this is a genre specifically for Moms of babies and children and youth ages.  Some of these Mommy Bloggers are really popular, too.  I’m curious as to whether the Mommy Bloggers that started a decade ago have stayed the course through the all of Mommy-hood – cause I have seen the empty nest bloggers that seem to have blogs that date back a few years.

I would love to read some of these Mothers that have gone from mucus plugs to play-dates to slamming doors & menstruation to move-out of the home day.  I kneel in respect and will bow my head to read your stories.

Don’t get me wrong – I love the Baby/Toddler/Kidlet Blogs and I love the flown the coop blogs.  I need to read someone having stayed writing through the course, The Holy Grail of Mother Blogging.

Oh, to dream.

Finishing My Move In To WordPress

I am still in the process of moving into my digs here so go ahead and leave unsolicited advice.  There’s a limited time on that offer before I put on my sniper suit and start practice.  Cheers, everyone!

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Blog Roar – 10 Facts About The Blog Woman

I am The Blog Woman.  Hear me roar.

noelHeadshot

Here I Am, 10 Things, For Better or Worse:

  1.   I was born by Sandra and raised by Rachel.
  2.   I have had 8 cars.
  3.   Early years medical mash:  hole in my heart, broken arm, chicken pox, concussion
  4.   I have 7 piercings and 1 tattoo.
  5.   I have lived at 19 addresses.
  6.   I was pushed out of an airplane.
  7.   I stood on top of the highest point in the continental USA.
  8.   Pro-epidural, pro-choice, pro-volunteerism, pro-bio fuel.
  9.   My first cat was named Farkle.
  10.   My children are the Joys in my life.  Joy2 made this meme of Joy1, clearly because he cares.

CamiThugMeme

The Blog Woman is my latest writing platform and I’m still unpacking, excuse the boxes.

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Last Minute Gift Ideas? Nope, Too Late. Gotta Hit The Mini-Mart.

 Ooops, Who’s Kidding Who….Even This Post Is A Wee Late

I had this posted a week ago on another site and in unpacking my boxes just decided to leave in in the pile of things to sort through later.  And we all know that stuff sits in the corner until the speed clean when a relative visits.

I still think it warrants posting cause it’s a great source for gifts that you’ll need at some point.

Trouble With Final Gift Ideas?

Shutterfly Gifts

At A Loss For That Last Gift Idea?

I found the answer to my last minute gifts for those people that just have everything, especially grandparents and other miscellaneous family members.   Click here and get 100 free prints.

Gift Ideas

I have used Shutterfly in years past for mouse pads, calendars, prints, photo books and now am excited to see that they are making tablet cases, laptop cases, cellphone cases plus more techie stuff that is fun to check out.  The site is super easy to use and will store your photos in organized albums for future reference if you want.

One Last Mention How Photo Gift Ideas Get Easier

Almost forgot: If you don’t have time to wait for prints to come via snail mail, you can pick them up at CVS, Target, or Walmart.  Gift ideas and photos gone easy peezy.  BTW – I am not getting paid for this endorsement.  I just think they are good and worth reminding you all.  You’re welcome, Shutterfly.

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The Rude, The Lucky And The Jammies – Christmas Shopping With The Joys

OB Christmas Tree

Rock-Star Shopping And Rude Cart Rogues

With it being Saturday and only 12 days left until Christmas, I decided it was time to get some gift shopping underway. I love Christmastime. The Joys and I got our 6-foot scrappy looking tree on Wednesday. I took Joy 1 to see “White Christmas”, a live production at the North Park Theater on Thursday night. Friday, I worked a lucky 13 hours which will help cover the cost of Christmas and earned me the weekend off.

So, Saturday was going to be the start of more holiday fun. Joy1 and I went to the dollar store to stock up on household basics and we quickly realized the crazies were out in full nasty force. Parking lots jammed, shopping carts banging, hogging isles, blocking shelves and abrupt attitudes were rampant. That stop was short lived and on the way out Joy1 stated that the store was full of immigrants and old people. Wasn’t sure if I should have been shocked by that comment or just agree. I spent a hundred dollars there and at checkout felt like a rock star. Apparently, the old immigrants don’t stock up quite so aggressively and rude people were taking over the town.

Even A Bull’s Eye Needs To Smell Good

Back in the car, I realized there was a Bath & Body Works shop across the way so we decided to pop in there for some smell good gifts. We are informed by the perky, pretty woman greeting us with a shopping bag as we headed in that the store is having a “Buy 3, Get 3 Free” event that very day. We needed nothing but bought everything, got our 3 Free, indulged in another 3 item discount, picked up some completely unnecessary massage oils, 4 types of men’s cologne, (why?), and splurged on a couple of impulse items in the check out line. If anyone is a rock star it was our cashier for dividing our items into 3 purchases so that we could maximize the maze of store deals. There was a big, fat bull’s eye on my forehead yesterday. Lucky for that store it is Christmas time.

Clark Kent Was A Real Man, Too

Later in the day I took the Joys to Target and found myself people watching outside the fitting rooms while Joy1 tried on Yoga pants.   By the end of my 10-minute wait I had transformed into an old white moth after watching: 2 twenty-something females who must be on a reality show from the way they glared at the clerk for the 6 item limit and left their cart blocking the entrance to the fitting rooms. Someone should have told them that reality stars don’t shop at Target.

Then: Adult male 1 enters fitting rooms to try on Batman pajamas.

A moment later: **Ring, ring** Clerk answers phone and tells caller they are sold out of the ugly sweaters.

Shortly thereafter: Adult male 2 enters fitting rooms to try on Batman pajamas.

Eventually: Joy1 comes out but Joy2 goes in to try on shorts.

I start looking for the hidden camera as: Adult male 3 enters fitting rooms to try on Batman pajamas.

So, it seems that Target scores one point for Rude and earns the Big Win for grown-up men wanting to sleep as superheroes. Plus, the Joys decided on the way out that Target smells better than Wal-Mart.

Last stop was Dicks Sporting Goods – the name alone gets points for Lucky and on top of that we got Lucky…..in the store because Joy2 ‘s cellphone fell out of his pocket and was found by the manager and was back to us in minutes. Yay, Lucky Dick’s!

The day ended with Christmas movies all night, baking banana bread, wrapping gifts and trimming the tree. It was a busy day littered with luck and rudeness and oddities but having a terrifically sappy ending.

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Judgment, The Big Elephant In The Room?

Elephant

The Big Elephant Is Big Obvious

There is a part of me that I don’t want to acknowledge openly but it is there and needs to be outed for some reason. It’s a version of being judgmental that seems necessary to keep. As a rule, I am against passing judgment on others. On the other hand, I believe there are reasons we have to judge others at times as a survival mechanism.

Judging Others To Survive

To survive in the world, we need to use all of our experience and knowledge combined to make decisions. Decisions are judgments. Decisions aren’t wrong but we are taught that judgment is wrong. Is it passing judgment for a woman to not open her front door to a stranger? What about a parent forbidding a child from associating with certain other children? Do we choose who to befriend or date, marry, or interact with because they are different than we are or the same? Is it possible that we instinctively trust people who look like ourselves because we think we understand similar looking people? Is it appearance that we trust?  In an ideal world we would trust others based solely on their behavior but that also requires judging behavior.

A person being judged will likely always take offense – I know I have been the object of judgment and did not appreciate it. But I figure I live in a free country and part of that freedom is people having the right to pass judgment if they choose. I can do it and I can be the recipient of such. Viola, passing judgment is a right. I am not talking about bias or judgment without true cause – this is where judgment gets sticky – basing choices on appearance vs. behavior and how the outcome will impact anyone involved.

Judgment Is Like A Gun

Guns Don't Kill

When does passing judgment become a morally broken compass?  Aha, the too many layered topic.  It is interesting that as complicated as judgment clearly is, that so often this word and concept is itself minimized, turned into a reverred meme and judged.  I am starting to think that judgment is as misunderstood as guns: harmless if respected for what it is, useful in the correct context but dangerous if mishandled.

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The Dating Waiting Game

Back To Dating, Ugh

 NoelMomsCouch

Another Relationship Bites The Dust:

I was faced again this week with yet another break up text from my boyfriend of 4 months.  This time I will let it go without putting the pieces of our tryst back together.  It’s time for this one to stay gone.   My days have been mentally littered with sadness and mini pity-parties with visions of me single and living a pathetic, lonely life in my one bedroom apartment with my dog, TV, and recliner.

My ego tells me I am the better than the former 2 of us.  I must be re-marketable.   Ugh, but that means returning to the dreaded online dating sites with the endless text boxes to fill with information describing all about me, designing my perfect mate, and outlining an ideal first date.   I just straight-up don’t want to do it….again.

There must be more to me than just what fits into the profile section of dating sites.  In fact, I think I could fill days and weeks and months worth of blogs on the information that is me, or what my life is, dreams, goals, thoughts, even a bucket list, the man of my dreams, my history, my dream dates, my preferences.

Good grief, I think I’m on to something.  I could just hyper-link to my blog.

**Exhausted from coming to this realization, she drops dramatically onto the couch next to the dog, grabs the remote and flips to the ongoing “Modern Family” Tuesday night marathon, apparently still clinging to pity mode.

Is Mr. Right Out There?

In the last few years I have considered that my sights were set too high for a divorced, 49 year old working woman with 2 teenagers living at home.  I am a cliché and men in my desired range are not seeking out a cliché.  The men who seem to be interested in my category are either cubs looking for their cougar, (tempting but not my bigger goal), or men significantly my senior.  Hence, the pity party ensues.

The pool of single men interested in me is made smaller by my own list of wants and needs.  We’re talking about a handful of men.  I have already been single for much longer than desired and I know a few things about myself: I definitely do not like to be alone and I dwell on challenges until they are resolved whether it be a conscious thought or back burner left on 24/7.  I also have great faith in my convictions.

Grandma’s Words Of Wisdom…

My grandmother was filled with advice based in her strongly held convictions, some I could embrace and others were way off the grid for my liking.  Faced with long-term loneliness, I have decided to seek solace in one of her sayings: “Do not seek out happiness but stay engaged with your passions in life and happiness will be the by-product”.  Her words weren’t so concise but her message was loud and clear.

I think I can use this conviction to get me through another time of being single.  Maybe I will find growth that will make me a better person and maybe Mr. Right is going through something in life right now that will make me desirable when we meet.   I have to hang onto that because those are the words I pass on to people needing something to change in their life.

It sucks but I have to be patient and have faith that if I want it bad enough, it will find its way.

Posted in Dammit, That Hurt | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments